**The Naming of Warships**
The Naming of Warships is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a warship must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the admiral uses daily,
Such as Lola, McKenna, Black Lion or Essex,
Such as Union, Avenger, Overlord or Vengeance—
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the line-breakers, some for the raiders:
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a warship needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can it keep up its thrust perpendicular,
Or spread out its broadsides, or cherish its pride?
Of all the thrust profiles that a warship may bear,
The most dignified name is the one that says where.
There’s the **Cargo** name for the slow and the steady,
The **Fleet** name for those that must stay with the body,
The **Line** name for the wall that will never break,
The **Attack** name for the ones that close in for the kill,
The **Fast** name for the screen that keeps up with the thrill,
The **Strike** name for the hit-and-fade raiders,
The **Interceptor** name for the high-G predators,
And the **Impact** name for the relativistic hammer—
The only good reason to push that hard in the black.
Then there’s the mission that tells you its purpose,
The name that the crew uses deep in the dark:
**Mech Transport** to drop the ’Mechs where they’re needed,
**Fighter Carrier** to launch the wings on their wings,
**Cargo Transport** to haul the beans and the bullets,
**Gunboat** to ram with its nose full of fire,
**Barge** to broadside with weapons all ’round,
**Lander** to fight once its boots are on ground,
**Picket** to watch with its sensors extended—
All of them sensible, everyday missions.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The deep and inscrutable singular Name
That the warship itself can never confess.
When you notice a warship in solemn silence sitting,
With its engines at idle and its weapons all cold,
You may think it is dozing, but it’s really just fitting
Its three secret names into stories untold.
For a warship is proud, and a warship is vain,
And it never will speak its particular name.
So the Naming of Warships is a difficult matter—
It isn’t just one of your holiday games.
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter,
But a warship must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
The Naming Of Warships
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This poem was brought to you by AI, because I'm not that talented, and I think it did a pretty good job of matching the topic I was using it as a sound board for, and T.S.Eliot's poem. Even if some of the details are wrong.
Disclaimer out of the way,
Standardized ship naming conventions for IPD. Version 2 or 3 in reality, and probably about 87 in fluff.
[Size Modifier][Thrust modifier][Special descriptor(s)][Type]
Size Modifier:
Light - Under 5000 tons
Heavy - Over 20,000 tons.
Applies mostly to dropships. You'll see it on warships with Light and Heavy cruisers, but the exact definition is lost on them.
Thrust Modifiers:
Thrust 1/2: Cargo
Thrust 2/3: Fleet
Thrust 3/5: Line
Thrust 4/6: Attack
Thrust 5/8: Fast
Thrust 6/9: Strike
Thrusts 7/11 to 9/14: Interceptor
Thrust 10/15+: Impact
Cargo: Ships intended only for moving bulk supplies. If you've made a warship moving this slow you're doing it wrong.
Fleet: Ships that are capable of a sustained 1g Acceleration. They are perfectly good for moving from the jump point to a planet, but can not control the weather gauge in deep space.
Line: Should be wall, but old terms die hard sometimes. (I'm looking at you weather gauge) These are your classic main combatants.
Attack: A bit more aggressive in terms of anti-ship capability aimed at foiling Line units.
Fast: Enough speed to avoid the majority of combatants unless it wants to engage.
Strike: At this point you're more interested in avoiding a fight except for short engagement time passes. You've made compromises for that much speed.
Interceptor: There are a few Dropships that are really interested in the ability to catch targets. You'll never see a warship going this fast.
Impact: Once you get to this much Acceleration, your patron saint is Sir Issac Newton, deadliest man in space. Your probably are the weapon at this point.
Type:
For warships, the usual culprits: Corvette, Destroyer, Cruiser, Battleship, Dreadnought. Frigates and Carries are also in there. This section relies more on tradition to fill in meaning then the name.
For Dropships:
Transport: Used in conjunction with its primary cargo. So Mech Transport, Cargo Transport. Due to tradition Fighter Transports are still Carriers.
Gunboat: Or Missile Boat or Laser Boat. This is a combat ship that has focused most of its firepower into a single direction.
Barge: Also uses the weapon type as a modifier. This type of combat ship will tend to have firepower capable of engaging multiple directions.
Lander: A dropship intended to fight on the ground.
Picket: A dropship intended to operate away from the main fleet. Rare since other types of dropships will often fill in the role.
Special Descriptors:
This is the section where all the messy bits that people kept using ended up, they tend to add context to the purpose of a ship beyond its thrust rating and type.
Weapon types: Gun, Missile, Laser. Applies to boats and barges, occasionally a warship will use a weapon descriptor.
Pocket: Used with Dropships it means that a significant portion of the units armament is of capital scale. Used on a warship it means the ship is much smaller then it should be while trying to match some capability of a larger vessel.
Pursuit: Usually used on faster units intended to chase down and capture smaller units that are attempting to get away.
Escort: Indicates that the unit is faster then the fleet speed its intended to be assigned to, usually by 1 or 2 thrust ratings. These are units defensive in nature intended to act as a screen.
Special linguistic rules. While most fleets can use their thrust descriptor as part of their name, Fleet speed units are either simply referred to as "Fleet" or "Fleet Formation." "Fleet Fleet" is right out.
Examples:
6/9 corvette that is part coast guard part border patrol
Strike Pursuit Corvette
4/6 destroyer armed with anti-fighter point defense batteries.
Attack Escort Destroyer
3/5 5000 ton dropship armed with Cruise missiles
Line Missile Lander
Same ship but with Capital missiles
Line Pocket Missileboat
400 ton 5/8 Dropship with a sub-cap laser
Light Fast Pocket Laserboat.
At which point they just started being called LACs for "Light Attack Craft." Millions in research budget wasted...
800,000 ton 2/3 Warship focusing on armor and firepower
Fleet Pocket Dreadnought. Fleet Heavy Cruiser would also be correct, but the marketing overtook the easy naming convention.
